At a nice and steady 68mph today we zipped down 23 with excitement and yet this sense of easy peace. Going south of the Michigan border usually finds me impatient at our neighbors’ crawling speed limit but today there was no rush. Just us and adventure awaited! With plenty of time to get there, great conversation and company, (and plenty of coffee in hand) it was absolutely wonderful enjoying the ride.
Do it afraid. Do it unsure. With three hours ahead and quite a few days behind me I had just resolved myself to the fact that I was either going to go through with it or I wasn’t. Pretty simple actually if I took all the anxiousness out of it. Which has pretty much been the last 6 months of my life with work. I have found myself cheering others on and telling them to go for it, while I’ve hesitated to make the final transitions in order to move forward on some amazing projects.
Bleep, bleep. My phone chimed gently the other day and in popped a happy and excited text from a sweet client of mine. Her and her kind hubby made some big freaking steps last year to step out into some incredible dreams they had been holding on to for quite a few years. They prayed and dreamed and worked their tails off – and they did it! We connected over the phone yesterday and I’m just beside myself in awe with all that God has done in these quick few months in their lives and family.
So here I am, standing on the edge of change and transition and I’m not just dragging my feet. I’m backed up and sitting on a bench just watching everyone else walk by.
Why? Because I’m anxious about the perceived letdown. Because I’ve built a lot of trust with my community and I don’t want to let anyone down or make them feel like they have no where to go. But that isn’t really true. God is moving us into a position where we don’t just talk about dreams with people, we’re starting to walk beside them as they pursue them and make it happen. The team will still do all that paperwork and get all of that stuff done. I’m not going anywhere. I still get to hang out with people and talk about life and dreams and how amazing my God is. So there’s really no loss here. Just change.
So you hear me out there, world? I’m not going anywhere! Still message me for coffee. I still absolutely love coffee. That will never change. Being asked about my testimony and how we got to this point… Sitting down and encouraging a family… Being asked my opinion on whether to do that thing over the other thing… whatever. You get the point…
In the end I just want you to know I’m still here for you in whatever way. I’m still always going to be that encouraging voice telling you to make those tough decisions, to be brave, and be true to those incredible dreams God has hidden so wonderfully down in you. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to be entrusted with these families, with these hearts. Thank you for letting me in. Thank you for continuing to seek me out. Thank you for allowing me to see your life, your challenges, your fears, your messy, wonderful, beautiful life. I don’t take any single bit of it for granted. It’s an incredibly enormous honor and I know that I’ve taken diligent time to earn that trust.
Do it afraid. Do it unsure. One step at a time. So today I walked in ready (mostly, kind of) to get a tattoo in this amazing parlor down in Indiana. My first one. I’ve been thinking really hard about this for a long time. I sat and watched my beautiful friend get this sweet lipstick tattoo on her arm. She always seems to know just what to do and ready for just about everything. And then for some weird miscommunication he didn’t have anything ready for me. He didn’t think I was getting mine today. (So many emotions. Relief. Disappointment. lol)
God you totally gave me more time. For which decision I’m still torn over. Lol. Although we did set up another appointment…